Disappearing into the world

Disappearing into the world to find something lost in myself. Stepping out of a comfortable box and trading it in for a small box on wheels to take me where my heart desired, the Pacific. As someone who enjoys to organize, to plan, check off boxes at completion I had to let go, lack of time for preparation gave me that ability. This trip had no real plan, no set destination just a window of time to disappear into the wildness of the earth. The trip started later than I hoped, with a friend literally helping me load things into the car just so I could get out of the house. “Did I have everything?” Didn’t cross my mind too many times, just figured I would deal with that when the time came. 

I made routes as I went, not intentionally but the paths became the one’s less traveled. Tiny little towns in the middle of nowhere, lands forgotten. Stopping to discover places I have never heard of; surprises unfolding. At one point driving in solitude down highway 50? In Nevada, I had this thought, this sure is a lonely highway. Turns out signs later calling it the “loneliest highway in America”. This made me giggle in agreement. 

Camping along the way as best I could, never camping without companions. Only my four legged co-pilot, Bodhi, who would rather be running wild in the woods back home than be confined to a leash and a car. I had bought a map, love reading maps, didn’t realize till out in it that it lacked to mention mountains or any topographical markings. To my surprise the routes I had chosen were entirely through mountain ranges, twisting and turning, up and down, like a rollercoaster with no ending. 

While driving through Northern California still hours away from the ocean, I had passed tiny little thriving farms with beautiful mountain streams and gentle deer for miles. At one point the trees got so tall and thick I could no longer see the sky, the daytime got darker and rainy. Winding and winding, I was shot out of the trees into some sort of magical land, like OZ or Narnia. On top of a valley, open and vast with wild fruit trees, wildflowers and purple bushes blooming everywhere like jewels on the side of the roads, adorning the mountain walls. The fields like emerald blankets. 

Being an artist, color is my expression. The colors I saw were something I could have never imagined, alive. And the plants, so alive in their vibrancy and abundance.

Trees older than time, knowing of the coming and goings of humans. There is a richness in the wild, something that cannot be contained in a box. Wisdom that cannot be learned on the streets, knowledge that does not come from books and beauty that cannot be captured through a lens. 

We can never really disappear into anything, we are never lost or broken just disconnected from our truths. It is always there just have to be willing to slow down, turn the noise off and let go of the plans. Let life take you where it may. 

Step out of your boxes, explore something new. Open your eyes a little bigger and soften into the wildness of you.

The Shift

The shift to being a full time artist, how does one get here? It is probably different for everyone but for myself and others I have talked to, their is a shift in who we are, what we want. No longer could my being do things I didn't want to, my hands and mind craved to be connected through creating. I found myself saying everyday that all I wanted was to do art.

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